Ch. 7 |  HOA’d and Abused

Jerry briskly opened his front door, eager to hit the road before missing his tee time. As he pulled the door shut behind him, something caught his eye—a white envelope tucked between the handle and the frame.

Sighing, he grabbed it, already guessing the sender. The official Lago Tierra HOA letterhead confirmed it.

He ripped it open with mounting irritation.

ATTENTION: You are in violation of the Lago Tierra HOA rules for lawn upkeep due to overgrown weeds.

Jerry groaned, flipping to the attached photo. It showed a massive weed sprouting near his fountain. Except he knew better.

Marching across his manicured lawn, he found the offending culprit—a lone, measly weed, barely an inch long.

The photo had clearly been blown up to look worse than it was. Grossly misrepresented, he thought.

“For crying out loud,” Jerry muttered. “Don’t they have anything better to do?”

He shook his head. Vesna would be hearing about this.

Of course, that broad was about as useful as water in a flood. But if he had to deal with arbitrary, ridiculous threats, then she could deal with him.

“Morning, Jerry!” a voice called from the street.

Jerry looked up, saw who it was, and grunted. He turned his back on the groundskeeper, ignoring him entirely. Something about the guy rubbed him wrong—too eager, too friendly. He reeked of desperation. Jerry didn’t like that kind of man.

Without a word, he got into his silver Mercedes, started the engine, and pulled away.

But not before sending a quick text to his dealer.

He still had time to pick up party favors before golf.

Retirement, he thought with a smirk, was good to him indeed.